Man Refuses to Cancel Vacation He’s Been Planning For Years to Attend Brother’s Impromptu Wedding, Brother Calls Him Selfish and Family Becomes Divided

Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH • 14 hr. ago Working_Raccoon417 AITA for refusing to cancel a two-year planned trip to attend my brother's last-minute wedding?
  • 02
    I (36M) have been planning a big trip with my two best friends for over two years. The trip is set for January, and it's a three-week adventure in another country, where we'll be celebrating New Year's together. I've been looking forward to this trip for ages, and I talk about it often since it's a huge deal to me. My friends and I
  • 03
    all worked hard to get the time off, save up, and plan everything out, and honestly, this is a bucket-list kind of experience for us.
  • 04
    Now, the issue: my brother (32M) and his girlfriend, who have been dating for about a year and a half, recently announced that they're getting married. They planned it all pretty fast and are having an intimate wedding with just close family and friends. They sent out invitations only two months in advance for a wedding that's in
  • 05
    early January — right in the middle of my trip. To make things more complicated, my brother asked me to be his best man and give a speech.
  • 06
    I was genuinely happy for him and politely reminded him that I wouldn't be able to attend because of this long-planned trip. He knows all about it since I've been talking about it a lot out of excitement. He kept insisting, though, saying he needs me there and that being his best man is more important than a "friends trip."
  • 07
    I understand that a wedding is a big deal, and I do feel bad that I won't be there, but the timing is really tough. Canceling this trip would let down my two best friends (who aren't invited to the wedding, as they aren't friends with my brother) and would mean losing a ton of money.
  • 08
    My family is split on this. Some think my brother should understand, while others think I'm being selfish for not adjusting my plans for his big day. AITA for sticking with my trip and not agreeing to be his best man?
  • 09
    Financial_Bear_... • 14h ago • NTA. When we booked our wedding, the first thing we did was check the date worked for the guests that were non-negotiable for us. You have a long-standing commitment to your friends, and to back out means not only would you lose money, but so would they.
  • 10
    Tell your brother you would love to be there for him, but he was aware of your prior commitments, and they are set. If he needs you there so badly, he has the choice to move his wedding, or he can just accept he screwed up.
  • 11
    FutureOdd2096 • 14h ago • NTA. don't get angry, but act befuddled and confused. "What are you talking about, you know I have a trip? How could I possibly be your best man?"
  • 12
    Cute-Professio... • 14h ago • NTA at all. He's known about this trip for 2 years and he's trying a power play. So unless he wants to rebook the trip at his expense AND find a way to pay you and your friends for the time you've already taken off, then you can talk. Until then,
  • 13
    Remarkable-U... • 14h ago • Ya I'd agree with this. Is there a reason why they picked that date? Did he forget about the trip you had planned for two years? At this point I imagine you are financially invested in the trip and can't get refunds on certain things. If
  • 14
    it's so important to him for you to be there, perhaps he can pick a different day since the whole thing was super last minute anyway.
  • 15
    Eastern_Condit... • 14h ago • NTA. You've had this trip planned longer than their relationship has been alive. Go on your trip. Brother can deal.
  • 16
    stroppo 14h ago • NTA. If you've planned something at the last minute, you have to expect that not everyone you invite will be able to attend.
  • 17
    Maya2661 • 14h ago • They just planned the wedding on short notice. He knows about your trip and knows how much it means to you. However, they planned the weeding in this 3 weeks? I think this behavior is fishy. How is your relationship with your brother and his fiancée?
  • 18
    Dear_Intention... • 14h ago • Tell him you'll be there for his second wedding.
  • 19
    zanne54 13h ago • . "If it was so important to you for me to attend, why did you deliberately choose to plan your wedding smack in the middle of the trip that you knew I'd planned 2 years ago?" NTA
  • 20
    • Rye_One_ 13h ago • Are any of the people who think you are being selfish prepared to demonstrate the kind of generosity they expect from you by paying your cancellation costs? NTA

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article